


Neighborly Love

by SihaSmiles



Category: K-pop, Stray Kids
Genre: Age Gaps, Brief seungsung/ seungsungjin, F/M, Friends as characters, Gay, It's all felix and chaes fault, M/M, Neighbors, Stray kids at their finest, so much gay, this took too long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 15:28:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 21,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16813420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SihaSmiles/pseuds/SihaSmiles
Summary: In which Jeongin just needs to borrow Chan's living room to study for a test, but ends up falling in love with the aussie.Started: July 24th, 2018Ended: November 4th, 2018





	1. 一: Knock Knock

I slam my laptop out of frustration. I've been trying to study for the last two hours, but my sisters and her friends just keep getting louder and louder. It was already hard to focus, but now it's impossible.

I try to think of a solution and the first thing that comes to mind is Felix. He lives next door and he knows how much of a pain Chae can be when she invites her friends over.

Sure enough he says I can come over, and I'm eternally grateful for such a nice friend. I put my phone down on the desk and start collecting what I'll need to study before informing my mom I'm going over to a friends house to study.

As usual, she waves me off, returning to her work which always seems to be more important that Chae or I. I don't even remember what she does for a living, but it doesn't mater much anymore. It's not like we ever talk.

I have to knock three times before the door opens, and someone who is definitely not Felix opens the door, scaring me a bit since I was expecting a blonde aussie.

"Can I help you?" He asks, pushing his glasses up a bit.

"Is Felix home?" I ask, hoping that he'll say yes. Felix has a habit of telling his other friends to come over when he isn't home.

The boy in front of me shakes his head. "He left a while ago to go on a date."

"Oh." So much for studying in peace.

"Is there a specific reason you needed to speak to him?"

"I just asked if I could come over to study because my sisters and her friends were getting loud. Sorry for taking up your time." I bow and turn to take my leave when the a phone goes off. I pat my back pocket, reaching for my phone, but it seems it was the other boys.

"Felix just texted. Come on in." He says, opening the door for me. I smile at him, happy that I might not fail my test.

"Thank you so much." I say, bowing once again.

He shakes his head a little, walking towards the kitchen where it looks like he was making tea. He motions for me to sit at the table where I can study.

"Do you want any tea?" He asks, opening the cupboard to grab down some tea cups.

"Do you have earl grey?" I ask, hoping that he'll say yes.

He smiles, opening a second cupboard that has at least three of the largest boxes of earl grey tea I've ever seen. "I think I would die if I didn't have earl grey." He says, pulling out two tea bags as the water in the kettle let's out a whistle.

Soon enough I'm half way through what I'm supposed to be studying, two cups of tea drank, and frustrated at how slow the Internet is since all of Chae's friends are probably on it streaming videos.

The boy, whose name is Bang Chan I've learned, walks into the kitchen, pouring himself another cup before looking over at me, obviously seeing how annoying it is to watch the buffering icon on my screen.

"Slow Internet?" He asks, grabbing a small package of peanuts from seemingly nowhere.

"Yeah, I think they're streaming videos or something, usually it isn't this slow."

He nods, retrieving a sticky note from the desk where he's been since I've arrived. "Here's the WiFi password." He says, sticking it to the table next to my laptop.

"Thank you." I say, quickly clicking on my WiFi settings to change networks. It isn't hard to find their network, it's literally an all caps **AUSSIEBROS209** 7\. I shake my head at the name, looking over at the sticky note. "Bangaroo?" I question, Mumbling it slightly, though Chan still seems to hear.

"It was Felix's idea." He says, sipping on his tea before returning to his laptop.

Sure enough, the password works and I no longer have to stare at a buffering sign in the middle of my history video.

Another hour passes by, and I wonder if I'm not out staying my welcome. Chan has said anything to me, but I wonder.

"How much longer do you have?" He asks, putting on another kettle of water. I've definitely out stayed my welcome, I just know it.

"An hour maybe. If you have plans or need me to leave I can go." I say, trying to make sure I'm not a bother. But he just shakes his head at me, a smile on his lips.

"Nah, you're fine. You just look tired is all. More tea?"

I smile and nod my head, thankful that even if Felix wasn't here, Chan was nice enough to let me stay.

"Do want to take a break or something, you'll get a headache if you continue on like that." He says, handing me back my tea cup as he looks at my screen.

"I'm used to staying up 'til two in the morning to study, so I'm used to cramming." I admit, looking over my work sheets a little.

He frowns a little. "That's not good for you. You'll tire yourself out quickly if you do that too often." He says shaking his head before heading back over to his laptop.

I wonder what he's working on. I lean forward a little, squinting until I can see the screen. Oh, you're kidding me! He's playing Mass Effect!

I love that game, and I would kill to be playing that instead of doing this homework, but that's not how life works, is it? I decide to just study harder, knowing full well that I can play when I get back home.

"I really don't like you," I hear him mumble to the screen. "but I'm supposed to be paragon. Oh screw it." I can hear the game clearly, and I know he's talking about the girl at the cloning facility.

I shake my head, focusing myself back on homework before I pay anymore attention to Mass Effect and the fact that Chan is actually a paragon softie.

"I'm done studying, so I'll be going. It was nice meeting you, and thank you for letting me use your house and wifi." I say, slipping on my shoes as Chan nods.

"You're welcome to come over again if you need to, you're not nearly as roudy as Jisung, and you share my love of earl grey tea." He says, smiling.

"And apparently Mass Effect." I say, watching the tips of his ears turn red.

"Heuh, yeah." Now he looks away. "I'll see you later."

I nod and take my leave, hoping there are more days like this to look forward to.


	2. 二: He's A Dork

Again, I'm standing outside of Chan and Felix's apartment hoping to use their dining room table again. All because Chae's friends decided to spend the night.

I knock barely even once before an unfamiliar face greets me.

"You are... Jeongin, correct?" He says, slightly pointing a finger at me.

I nod. "Yes, and you are?"

He grins widely, swinging the door open. "Han Jisung!" He says, inviting me in without even asking why I was knocking.

"Felix, Jeongin is here!" Jisung shouts loudly. I now know why Chan said I didn't bug him as much. Jisung is like a air horn on crack using a megaphone.

"Bro!" Felix says, rushing out of his room to wrap up in one his hugs that everyone seems to like.

"Hi, hyung." He only seems to hug me tighter before Chan walks into the room.

"He's turning blue, Felix, let him breathe." Chan says, walking into the kitchen where he places the kettle on to boil.

Felix pouts but let's me go, asking me a series of questions like how I've been and such. It doesn't take long before I feel like I've told him everything, but it's enjoyable to be with friends like this.

"Here you go." Chan says, passing me a cup of tea before walking over to his laptop, but he's not wearing glasses today.

"Aww, Channie hyung must like you if he gives you tea." Felix says, looking over to where Chan sits, and Chan must've heard too because he's flipping Felix off while saying something in English that I can't understand. But Jisung laughs, Felix says it back and Chan returns to his tea and screen.

"What does that word mean?" I ask, looking between Jisung and Felix who both just laugh at me, Jisung muttering something about being 'too innocent' for my own good.

"You can study at the table again, Jisung and I were going to go out for a bit, but Chan will still be home." Felix says, standing up before giving me a slight hug, Jisung simply waving as they leave.

Now that the apartment is quite again it's going to be easy to focus on my Math homework. Though, knowing my luck, I'll still fail the math test.

And not even two minutes into studying I'm stuck on a problem which makes me frustrated and I end up clicking my pen more than normal.

Chan doesn't seem bohered by the pen clicking which drives Chae absolutely bonkers, and it seems that no amount of tea I drink will ease my nerves.

But because I've drank so much tea I feel like my bladder is about to explode, and everything is just annoying at the moment.

"Okay, so you've played Mass Effect before, right?" Chan says when I come out of he bathroom. I nod and he smiles. "Did you by any chance get past this part?" He asks, pointing to the screen.

"Dude, I'm already on the third game." I say, walking over to his laptop.

"Oh thank God." He says before explaining the buttons to me since I'm used to the Xbox version.

"Damn, you're really good." He says, leaning over my shoulder as I finish off the last husk.

"I try." I say, giving a small smile before standing up from the chair, letting him return to his game.

"Oh, I noticed you were stuck on a math problem, I wrote some notes in your notebook that should help you understand it." He says once I sit back down, and sure enough, there's notes written in my notebook.

"Thank you so much." I say, happily able to return to my work without anymore issues.

Soon my math homework is done and I'm packing up to go home when Chan comes over.

"I feel like I should at least make an effort to get to know you since you keep coming over." He says with a smile.

"That's probably a good idea." I say, putting my bag on the floor so it's not just on the table.

After about twenty minutes I've already learned a bit about him. Like, he's from Australia, he goes to the same university as Chae and he's undeniably the biggest dork I've ever met.

But, all in all, he's a nice, antisocial, Mass Effect loving dork who I think I will get along with in the near future.

"I should be getting home now, but thank you for letting me study here again, and I look forward to knowing more about you." I say, bowing slight as he just smiles.

"You don't have to keep bowing. And I look forward to knowing more about you too." He says, waving as I leave.

Is it normal to like people this much within two days of knowing them? I don't think it is, but I'm not sure, I don't get to interact with many people.

Chae greets me with the usual ' _what's up, loser?_ ' before retreating back to her room with a plate of reheated pizza.

Mom is still at her desk in the living room, typing away on her laptop, not even bothering to acknowledge me until I nearly drop a cup which causes me to bang my knee against a cabinet.

"You okay, Jeong?" She asks, not even looking over.

"I'm fine." I mutter, filling the glass with water before heading back to my room to get ready for bed.

There are too many thoughts in my mind for today, and hopefully sleep will solve this.


	3. 三: Why Am I Here Again?

Felix invited me over for a game night alongside Chan, Jisung and two of their other friends which I had yet to meet. They seemed nice from the way he had described them, but I wondered.

I spent the last two minutes staring at my closet. Why had everything suddenly become so... ugly? Whatever was going on, I decided that a regular white shirt and black skinny jeans seemed good enough and grabbed my phone before rushing over to the apartment.

I knocked twice before someone yelled that the door was unlocked, and that I should just come in. So I did just that.

I pushed the door open and was greeted by a relaxed atmosphere, Jisung and someone else were lounging on the couch in sweatpants, throwing popcorn in the air just to try and catch it with their mouths.

Chan and Felix were in the kitchen, Chan was actually cooking while Felix was just leaning over his shoulder, hovering more than helping.

And the other invited guest had yet to make themselves apparent, so I decided to just sit on the couch and watch as Jisung and the other boy throw popcorn in the air.

"Jeongin," Jisung stopped talking to catch popcorn. "This is," more popcorn. "Seungmin." Popcorn to the eye and a slew of curse words. "My boyfriend." He finally caught a piece and smiled triumphantly as Seungmin just rolled his eyes.

"Nice to meet you, Jeongin." Seungmin said, shaking my hand before throwing a piece of popcorn at Jisung who was too busy pumping his fists into the air to notice, until it hit him in the eye again.

"You're such a prick." Jisung mumbled, squinting his eye a little before excusing himself to the restroom to wash it out. Too much butter and salt can be a bad thing I guess.

Seungmin and I got better aquainted before there was a knock at the door. He opened it and pulled the boy inside, kissing his cheek before dragging him over. "This is our other boyfriend, Hyunjin." Seungmin said with a smile, grinning as Hyunjin turned bright red.

"Do you literally have to tell everyone?" Hyunjin whined, only to be chuckled at.

"Yes. Yes, we do." Jisung said, finally returning. He gave Hyunjin a kiss on the cheek just like Seungmin had done, taking his seat again before there was shouting in the kitchen.

"No, don't take my sausage!"

"It's my sausage!"

"Don't. Take. My. Sausage."

"Fine, can I eat your sausage? Why are you turning red? I only said...oh....oH.... DUDES, CHAN THOUGHT I WAS MAKING A SEXUAL DICK JOKE OUT OF SAUSAGES!" Felix shouted, his laughing soon followed, and then the sink was turned on, and Chan must've turned on the handheld attachment because Felix was getting water squirted at him as several english words I don't understand followed.

"GUESS WHO ISN'T GETTING ANY SAUSAGE NOW?!" Chan shouts, and here's muffled giggling from the three others on the couch.

"Uh, it looks like it's still you Chan!" Seungmin shouts.

Chan must've slammed his cooking utensil on the counter because there's a loud sound before he comes out of the kitchen, a bright green apron tied around him, a scowl on his face. I should probably note he's got an unused wooden spoon in his hand. "Unlike you, I do not need two boyfriends. I don't even need one. And the only person not getting sausage tonight, is going to be Jisung because I am three seconds away from chopping yours off."

Seungmin holds his hands up in self defense and Jisung just smiles.

"Chan, I don't even get any as it is. Feel free to castrate him." Jisung says, crossing his legs as Hyunjin nods, heck, even Felix is nodding.

"If that's how you feel, then go date Minho." Seungmin says with a pout. Hyunjin smiles, sending a wink Jisung's way.

"Maybe I will!"

I can already see how this is going. "How about a game?" I ask, hoping they'll just let it blow over before someone does get castrated.

"Never have I ever?" Felix asks, smiling widely before disappearing into the kitchen.

Several cabinets are open and closed before there's muffled whispering and something being thrown as Felix runs out of the kitchen.

"Dammit, Felix! I thought we over the sausage joke!" Chan shouts, and Felix is a giggling mess as he pours soda into what look like shot glasses.

"Okay, someone will ask a question, like _never_ _have_ _I_ _ever kissed my math tuto_ r if you have done that, then you drink a shot of coke. If you haven't ever kissed your math tutor, then you don't drink the coke." Felix explained, motioning for us to sit around the coffee table.

"I wanna go first!" Jisung shouted, causing Felix to cover his left ear as he nodded. "Okay, never have I ever, Kissed someone... on the lips."

Seungmin and Hyunjin just said cheers before downing their drinks. Jisung gasped.

"YouLilShitsYouSaidYouHadn'tKissed!" Jisung was talking quickly, but he didn't actually seem mad.

"Dude, hakuna-your-Tatas." Felix said, putting his hand on Jisung's shoulder. "Anyway... never have I ever committed a crime."

I was the only one to drink, and they all seemed to be staring at me.

"Damn, what'd you do?" Hyunjin asks, leaning forward.

"I'm too cheap for itunes, so I download videos straight off of youtube." Everyone laughed, and even Chan seemed to laugh.

"Shit, I forgot that was a crime." Felix said, downing his drink and even Jisung and Seungmin drank their drinks.

"I bootlegged a movie once." Hyunjin chuckles, downing his drink.

I like these guys, they're a perfect band of idiots.

"Well, food is done, we can continue this after." Chan says, setting one last dish on the table as everyone rushes over at the mention of food.

"Did you make the sausage spicy?" Felix asks, looking over at it.

"Yes." Chan says, smiling as he sits down across from me.

"You did it on purpose! You know I can't eat spicy food!" Felix whines, and Chan grins this time.

"There's non-spicy sausage on the stove, they're just not done yet." He says, watching as Felix grumbles.

They're cute together, the way they bicker. Maybe they're dating. It would explain why they share an apartment. And the sausage joke.

Chan smiles at me, and Felix just gives me a thumbs up when Chan looks over to scold Seungmin.

Maybe they aren't dating?

Too many thoughts yet again.


	4. 四: Math Effect

The game night had been eventful to say the least, seeing as halfway through Chae was invited over and everyone was on a sugar high by the time it was bedtime.

I was yet again, hoping to use the dining room table in Chan's and Felix's apartment since Chae had invited Hani and Coni over for God only knows what. Because the only thing I ever hear is muffled screams, something falling and someone shouting about something being too uwu.

I'm just about to pick up my phone when a message comes through.

**Chan-Hyung:**   
**Are you** **coming** **over today?**   
**The** **table** **looks lonely.**   
**Also, Felix left me home alone again.**   
**And** **I'm kinda stuck** **on** **this level of mass effect 2.**   
**So...**

I didn't understand him at times, he hadn't talked to me the first time I came over, barely talked the second time, was completely friendly last night, and had just now invited me over to help him with a video game.

Are boys always this confusing? No wonder girls can't pinpoint us.

**Me:**   
**I will help you with** **anything** **ME 2-3** **related** **if**   
**You can help me with math.**

**Chan-Hyung:**   
**Deal.**

I grab my bag and textbooks before heading over, knocking twice before the door opens and Chan practically pulls me inside before closing the door. He's wearing glasses again today.

Cute.

"I figured we should do your homework first, then we can work on the game. If you stay late then I can cook and of course, there is hot tea." He was rambling as he ushered me inside.

"Do you even know advanced calculus?" I ask, pulling my textbooks out as I sit down at the table.

"It's been a while." He says as he fixes us our cups of tea. "But I remember most of it." He places a cup of tea in front of me and sits down, helping me look over the work sheets as we have a light conversation.

"What does this even mean?" I ask, pointing to an equation that is completely foreign to me. Chan doesn't seem to have a clue either as he tilts his head to the side, staring at it intently.

"I've never even seen that sign before." He says, completely confused with it, maybe even more so than I am at this point. No big surprise there to be honest.

"How about we move on and come back to that?" I suggest, watching as he nods slowly, still confused with the equation.

"Oh look, something I actually know." He says sarcastically as we scan the next page which is basic calculus that I'd have to be an idiot not to understand.

I finish with the page and put the homework down, my brain already past it's limitations and it's not even three o'clock yet. "Can we just play Mass Effect now?" I ask, looking over at Chan who thinks about it for a moment before standing up.

"Lets go kick some butt. Also, maybe seduce some aliens, whichever comes first!" He says, heading over to his laptop before powering it up.

I drag an extra chair over, sitting beside him as we discuss basic things about he game, like why we prefer being Paragon over Renegade.

"It's easier to seduce them this way." Chan jokes, selecting yet another paragon action that ultimately fails, resulting in a bloody mess and awkwardness.

"Sometimes it's okay to shoot first and ask questions later." I say before pointing him in the way of valuable loot.

"Oh heck yes, Thane my mate!" Chan has practically gone into fanboy mode over the dude and it's literally one of the cutest things I've seen.

"Wait, don't tell me that you're playing as female commander Shepard just to seduce the dudes." I say, watching as Chan just looks over at me, selecting the first romantic option that appears.

"Look me in the eye and tell me that the relationship between Thane and FemShep isn't the cutest thing you've seen." He says, waiting for an answer.

Truth be told, it was the cutest thing I'd seen. Until I met him. But no way in hell will I ever admit that to him at the moment. "Fine, you win. They're adorable, now back to the game before something happens that you weren't expecting."

He rolls his eyes and returns to his game, interacting with all the rest of the crew members.

"Serious question, would you date any of these characters in real life?" Chan asks, selecting a new mission to go on.

I have to think about it for a moment before I feel like an idiot for even having to think about it. "Garus Vakarian, hands down. He's the shit." I say, watching as Chan turns to me with an eyebrow raised.

"Language, sir." He says before returning to the game, let out a few curse words of his own as he dies twice in a row. "A little assistance, please." He says, passing the laptop to me as it reloads again.

"Okay, but what about you, who would you date?" I ask, keeping my eyes trained on the game, already knowing every move that I'll have to make.

"I kinda like Samara, or Kazumi." He says, earning a nod from me before he bursts into giggles. "Not really though. I'm Thane Krios for life, mate."

I chuckle, handing him back his laptop. "That's gay." I say jokingly as he finishes up the mission.

"Well, I've been gay since ninth grade, so yeah, I hope it is." He says, not even looking at me which I am truly thankful for because I already know I'm redder than Rudolphs nose at this point.

Curse Bang Chan and his adorableness and the fact that he's a Mass Effect playing dork who's a total Thane Krios Stan. And curse his Australian sexiness, because, damn. That accent drives me insane.

"Earth to Jeongin, how do I I even?" He says, bringing me back to reality.

"You shoot him. It's easier that way." I say, watching as he shrugs and shoots the guy on screen.

Now, if only cupid could shoot us.


	5. 五: Oh, Crap

I think there are many horrible ways to be woken up in the morning, air horns, water dumped on you, people jumping on you. But I have the great fortune of living with Felix.

The most annoying little Australian shit I've ever met.

Normal people with shake up gently to wake you up, or spray you with water if you're a heavy sleeper. But no, that's too good for Lee Felix.

Instead, he shakes you until you're jut barely awake, and then he starts playing ever song from any vine ever made. On a kazoo. And it's not cheap plastic either, that shit, is metal. And not the genre, I'm talking I've stepped on that thing, tried driving over it with a car, and it is still working like it's no one's business.

That is why today, I must take my revenge.

See, Felix has a bad habit of staying up until about Six in the morning on weekends, and last night was no exception. So now, at eight am, I'm waking him up with an air horn.

I let out a breath of relief when I open the door to his room, it's messy as hell, but he's fast asleep and it makes this all the sweeter.

I make my way to the edge of the bed where a pile of clothes lies, hovering over him slightly before pressing the button, waking him up with a loud screech as he shoots up into a sitting position.

"Geez, we share an apartment, have the decency to wear a shirt." I say, watching as hurriedly pulls the covers to cover up his chest. And it isn't until I see the 'pile of clothes' move, that I realize he is not alone. "Oh, crap." I say, watching as a startled, if not half asleep, Changbin pokes his head up out of the comforter.

"Fuck off, Chan." He says, disappearing back under the covers as Felix just sits there in awkward contemplation and I'm stuck holding an air horn.

"Um, can we talk about this. Later?" Felix says, still not even looking at me.

I nod, slipping out of the room before making my way to the kitchen, and before I can even grab the kettle, someone (probably Minho, the little shit) is knocking on the door. Violently.

"What?" I finally look at the person, who is not Minho. "Oh. Hi, Jeongin." I step out of he apartment, closing the door behind me, and the bitter winds of winter bite my skin relentlessly.

"Hi, hyung. Is there anyway I can possibly bug you for your wifi today?" Jeongin asks, giving his best 'please help me, I am a smol bean' look. Which, as much as I hate to admit it, works really well for him.

"Better yet, I know a cafe about a street over, I'll treat, jut let me grab my jacket." He nods and I slip back into the apartment, and I manage to run into a now fully clothed Changbin who smiles shamelessly before going back into Felix's room.

I shiver before finally meeting Jeongin back outside. We wall in comfortable silence, but I know there's something he's not saying. It's evident in his eyes whenever he looks up at me.

"So, what do you want to drink?" I ask, watching as he scans the assortment of drinks on the menu.

"Just an earl grey, please." Jeongin answers, giving a small smile before going to look for an empty table.

I place the order and find Jeongin at a table near the back, it's secluded yet inviting. Just like Jeongin.

"So, how have you been?" I ask, trying to make small talk as Jeongin plugs his laptop in.

He smiles, but it's half-hearted. "I've been better." He admits, sighing a little as he types something into his laptop.

"Long or short story?" I ask, leaning back.

"Long." He answers, continuing to type.

"Okay how long until you have to go home?"

He smiles. "Until my mom calls me when she realizes that I'm still out." He let's ot a little chuckle before returning to his screen. "What about you?" He looks up at me and I can't keep myself from smiling.

"Until your mom calls for you to go home."

Oh, the look on his face is priceless. And I must admit, he looks a bit like a tomato, a very cute tomato with braces.

Jeongin is about to say something back, but the barista drops our drinks off, and he goes back to being silent again.

"No, seriously, what's been bothering you?" I don't know if it's my place to meddle, but everyone needs the chance to talk to someone.

"It's just about my mom and dad. Mainly about why they divorced." He grimaces, taking a sip of the tea before fiddling with his hands.

"Why's that?"

He doesn't look up, doesn't really do anything at all, just sits there, dejected.

"They divorced shortly after my dad came out as Bi, and Chae and I haven't seen him since then. And I really want to talk to my mom about relationships and such, but I'm just a tad bit scared of the outcome." He picks at his cuticles, remaining silent for a little while. "What was it like for you? Did you come out to your parents?" He looks up and I offer a small smile.

"Everyone's parents are going to be different, mine were fine, given they were a little taken back, but they still loved me. However, that wasn't the same for Felix."

Jeongin furrows his eyebrows together, tilting his head to the side a bit. "What do you mean?"

I take as deep breath. "Felix grew up catholic, always believed in those old traditions and what not. So, when he came out to his parents, they were unhappy to say the least. They ended up kicking him out as little while afterwards, and ended up staying with me and my parents."

Jeongin nods, though he looks as if he's trying to process everything. "Felix always said that his parents sent him to study here in Seoul."

I laugh, nodding my head as Jeongin looks even more confused. "When he moved in, my parents treated him like he was one of their own kids, and we would sometimes introduce ourselves as brothers. And they did want us to come to Korea to go to college, but to also get away from some of the... less accepting people that we grew up with." I take a sip of my tea and grimace. I forgot to take the tea bag out.

Jeongin let's out a little chuckle as I pull out the bag, and I notice he still has his in.

"Oh, no. You're one of _those_ people." I say jokngly, pointing to the tea bag.

He nods. "I also wet my toothbrush before putting toothpaste on it." He grins devilishly before taking a sip.

"Let me guess, you're also evil enough to put milk before cereal."

He deadpans at me. "I'm un-traveled, not uncultured, you swine." He says, feigning repulsion before bursting into giggles.

I check my watch, it's already been a couple hours.

But I could spend a life time like this.


	6. 六: 我不是....我 (I Am Not....Me)

Chan smiles, and he actually laughs even though I asked him not to. "I can't believe you actually sing trot." He says, continuing to giggle as I groan, typing he last of my report.

"Well, I do, and I enjoy doing so." I grumble, taking a sip of earl grey. It's bitter and over brewed, which I normally like, but today it offers no pleasing aftertaste. It's just _bitter_.

"You want fresh tea?" Chan asks, pointing to the cup as I slide it away from me.

"Yes, please."

He laughs again, leaving the table to get more tea as I hit save on my report, closing my laptop as I relax in my seat. Yesterday was good for me in a way, and I've decided to come out to my mom soon.

Chan, while he undeniably the biggest dork, is also someone who gives the best advice and is oddly trustworthy. Like, if he came to my window at three in the morning, telling me to come with him somewhere, I'd go.

"Here. Try not to leave the bag in too long." He says, putting the cup down in front of me, sliding into the seat just off to my left. He's been trying to study for an exam he has coming up before winter break, but he's mostly been goofing off.

"So, learn anything new yet?" I ask jokingly, watching as he shrugs, flipping a page over.

"I know most of this, like, 99.9% of this, so I'm pretty confident I'll pass my exam. But you know what I can't pass?"

"ME-2?" I say, watching as he closes the book, smiling at me.

"Har-Har. No, I can't pass this song on DDR, and it's killing me." He says, grinning a little as I roll my eyes at him.

"I'm not playing DDR with you." I say, groaning as pouts at me.

"I'll do anything you want me to!" He pleads, giving me puppy eyes as if it'll win me over. And dammit, why is he so right?!

"Fine." I huff, letting him lead me to the living room where he has the mat laid out on the floor, the Wii already ready for use. "You planned this, didn't you?" I say, watching as he clicks a few options on the game menu.

"Yes." He clicks the hardest song on the game, and smiles before standing off to the side to watch as I flail around. Aka, dance.

I try my hardest not to miss any steps, but it proves to be harder than it seems, and I'm pretty sure I narrowly avoided twisting my ankle a moment ago.

The song reaches it's climax and just before I can even get my foot back on the ground after a series of combos, I slip. Or at leadt, I think I slip. Either way, I fall.

"Oh My, God!" Chan rushes over to help me up as the game continues playing.

I can't help but laugh at this, I've been done in by a video game. Chan smiles once he realizes that I'm not actually hurt, and he extends his arm for me to grab on to.

I reach up, grabbing onto his forearm before tugging him down, the majority of him falling on top of me. He laughs, and now we're both close to tears from laughing too hard.

"You're such a jerk!" He says, hitting my shoulder as he moves off of me, laying down on my right side.

"This wouldn't have happend if you hadn't made me play the game." I counter, trying to catch my breath.

Chan just chuckles, both of us staring at the ceiling in silence until he speaks up. "So, I owe you something now. What's it gonna be?" He asks, looking over at me.

I shrug, not knowing how to answer him. "I don't really want anything at the moment." I say, finally my breathing is almost back to normal, and I no longer feel like I've never breathed before.

"Well, think about it, and get back to me." Chan says, standing up before actually helping me up. "I've got another mat if you're up for it."

I grin, nodding my head firmly. "You're on."

He laughs before disappearing into his room, coming back with another mat that makes the same awful crinkling noise as the first one.

"Hope you like jpop." I say, clicking on my favorite so as Chan groans.

"You're going to be the end of me!" He whines, and for some reason, that one little sentence makes me a little warm inside.

Is it wrong to want to be the end of someone?

I shake the thought from my head, focusing on the game, watching as we both try to copy the arrows, failing so, so, so, so hard.

"Wassup, idiots, I'm home." Felix calls from the doorway, dropping his keys on the counter as he walks over to see what we're doing. "Not this again!" He whines, turning on his heels, immediately going to him room.

"I take it he doesn't like DDR?" I ask, still trying to keep up.

"Nope, not after Minho beat his high score on Feel Good."

I laugh a little, turning to see how Chan is doing, and I find myself staring. Which, is normally something I don't do, but there's something about the way he moves that keeps my attention on him.

The song ends and I'm still staring more or less, probably more, but he hasn't said anything about it, so maybe it isn't noticeable.

"Am I that attractive that you have to stare?" Chan asks with a chuckle as I feel my cheeks flush red.

"No, I'm just surprised you dance really well." Lie. Big fat lie.

He smiles, putting down his controller. "Are you sure you weren't checking me out? 'Cause it looked like you were checking me out." He says, fake flexing his arms, striking a multitude of 'model' poses. "We're both gay here, no need to be shy."

And for whatever reason unbeknownst to me, the only thing I can think to say is "What if I was?" He looks taken back to say the least, but he smiles.

"I didn't think I was your type." He jokes, smiling as I suddenly feel awkward.

"I didn't either." I really need to get ahold of my tongue before I say something even worse. Which, I highly doubt I could, but there are a few things I could say.

Things like-

"I like you."

Huh? I'm pretty sure he did not just say why I think he said.

"You probably think this is really awkward, and you probably won't talk to me after this... great." Now Chan looks conflicted, and I can honestly say that I know the feeling.

"I like you too... I think? I've never really liked anyone the way I like you before." Why has my throat suddenly become so dry?

"I, uh, oh..." It seems Chan is just as much of a blubbering idiot as I am, seeing as neither one of seems capable of saying anything else.

"JUST KISS ALREADY!" Felix shouts from his room, making both Chan and I to look at the door.

I turn around, and I already know I'm redder than a sunburnt tomato, but so is Chan.

"Would you like to go on a date sometime?" He asks, clasping his hands together as tries to compose himself.

"I'd love to."

And oh, do I mean I'd love to.


	7. 七: First Dates, And The Jitters That Follow

I silently thanked God as I sat down in the kitchen, both Coni and Hani trying to make me look presentable for my first date with Chan. Meanwhile, Chae was ransacking my closet trying to find something quote 'not as ugly as your face.' Unquote.

My mom would surely have killed me by now if she saw what was happening. Because, 1, Hani was trying to put makeup on me. 2, Coni was styling my hair, and I would be going on a date with someone 4 years my senior.

"If you don't buy nicer clothes, I'll burn all your plushees." Chae says, tossing a pair of black ripped skinnys on the couch alongside a striped sweater.

Slowly she walked over, and I could see her facial expression soften. "Damn, I guess you really are growing up." She said, giving a slight smile as Hani finished with my makeup around the same time that Coni finished my hair.

"Question," I said, looking at the clothes on the couch. "How do I get these on now that my hair and makeup is done?"

Hani and Coni simply looked at each other before nodding.

With in an instant my tshirt I'd been wearing was ripped off my body before the sweater replaced it.

"How did you even?" I ask, looking over in the mirror by the door, my hair and makeup unscathed.

"Perks of being a woman: you can get clothes, such as shirts and bras, off without any damage to your face." Coni said with a smile, both Hani and Chae nodding as I just felt a little more than exposed.

"Now go put your pants on before they help you with that too." Chae said, ushering me back to my room as they started squealing and giggling about more uwu. Whatever the hell that meant.

I barely made it out of my room before there was a knock at the door, all there girls rushing back inside of Chae's room, living me to my own vices.

I open the door, and I swear that if this was my first time seeing Chan, I would have slammed the door.

He wore white skinnys with holes in the knees, and a grey sweater that matched his newly dyed hair which curled just slightly. Is this what Uwu means? Too cute to handle?

"Hey... you ready to go?" He seemed timid today, like he was some shy school boy getting to talk to that one _really_ hot girl that all the guys liked. Wait, we're both gay, does this mean I'm the girl? "You okay?"

I look up, my eyebrows still furrowed as I nod. This seems to make Chan nervous and I have to shake the thoughts from my head. "Just thinking about something, let's go before Chae and her friends start bombarding us." I say, hearing the small _creek!_ From Chae's door.

Chan nods, smiling as I follow him out, closing the door behind me as we take tie stairs to the ground floor, the elevator out of order. I wonder when they'll get it fixed, it's been two weeks.

"So, I was thinking we could either go eat and see a movie, or go eat and maybe just hangout?" Chan said, leading the way to the parking lot.

"I'm thinking food and chill is better, there's not many movies out that I want to see." I say, following him to a black jeep. Dammit, this is one of my favorite types of cars. And... it's also the one I drew ducks on last year, because dear God did it need a wash.

Chan opens the door for me, letting me get a little situated before getting into the passenger seat. The car revs to life and immediately, the radio comes blaring to life.

Chan fumbles with the radio controls, looking a bit more than flustered as I laugh at his choice of radio listening.

"So, you like jazz?" I ask, watching as he adjusts it to the usual rock chanel that Chae always cranks it to when she doesn't feel like listening to hip-hop.

"My friend, Woojin, borrowed my car earlier. I swear he never leaves anything the way he finds it." Chan says, adjusting the rear view mirror, alongside the seat which is so far up that Chan barely has enough room to breathe.

I just smile, letting the rock music create a comfortable atmosphere between us as we drive to wherever it is that Chan had in mind for dinner.

It turns out to be an Italian restaurant that I briefly remember going to once, back when mom was more present in my life, and Chae didn't have tattoos that covered her arms or piercings that littered her face.

"If you don't like italian, we can go someplace else." Chan says, noticing the way I spaced out a little.

I shake my head, smiling at him. "It's just been a while since I've been here." I say, earning a not at all convinced nod from Chan. I open the car door and get out much to his protest.

"I'm supposed to be a gentleman, I asked you on the date, and I should be opening doors for you." He complains, crossing his arms at me once I make it to the front of the car.

"Then don't be so slow. And besides, a true gentleman is only measured by how courteous he is to people, not how many doors he opens on dates."

Chan just rolls his eyes, chuckling at me a little before heading into he restaurant. He seems to come here a lot too, all of the wait staff seem to know him, and one of the waitresses even gives him a thumbs up once she sees me trailing behind him.

He pulls my chair out for me, and I can't help but smile. This boy will be the death of me.

The worst part is, I think he knows it too.


	8. 八: Blunders And Blushes

Chan and I barely ordered our food before things started falling apart around us.

Chan had gotten his drink dumped on him twice, once by himself and then once by the waiter who happend to be a close friend who apologized profusely through a fit of laughter.

Then, the couple seated behind us got into an argument, and just as the waiter arrived to serve their food, the guy stood up, knocking the tray out of the waiters hand causing all of the food to go everywhere.

By now, neither Chan nor I could keep a straight face, but he was the first to laugh.

"I honestly thought his was going to go a lot better, bt as usual, I was wrong." Chan said with a grin, laughing a little as I just tried to take a sip of tea without spitting it out from giggling too hard.

"It's fine. I can honestly say that I'll never forget today, and this will probably one of he most memorable dates of my life." I say, smiling a little as Chan just smiles back, the food being placed in front of us.

"Enjoy your meal." The waiter, whose name I learned was Minho, said before disappearing back into the kitchen.

We made light conversation here and there in between bites of food and sips of our drinks, and I don't think I've felt this comfortable in a long time.

The rest of dinner goes off without a hitch, and I think that this could work out in the long run. Which, is a little stupid to say when the night isn't even over, but it's what I feel.

"There's a park and ice cream shop nearby, we can chill for a little bit if that's okay with you." Chan suggests as we head back towards his jeep.

"Yeah, that sounds nice." I say, nodding a little before hopping into the passenger seat.

We parked to the side of the ice cream shop before going in, Chan immediately perking up at the scent of waffle cones and ice cream.

"I didn't even know you could get ice cream in this many flavors." I mumble, scanning over the menu as flavors just jumble together.

"My personal favorite is the French vanilla and chocolate swirl. It's really creamy compared to regular ice cream." He says, waiting for me to a flavor.

"I'll go ahead and try the mint lychee, it's sounds good." I say, watching as Chan nods in approval before gong to order as I wait closer to the door.

He comes back with two cones, handing me the one with a mint leaf on top. "It smells like toothpaste." He says with a chuckle, handing it over to me as I roll my eyes.

I take one lick and I'm in love. "It does smell like toothpaste, but it taste like heaven." I say, going as far as to bite into the ice cream despite the whine of protest from Chan.

"I thought I could trust you." He says, feigning repulsion before bursting out into a fit of laughter as I continue to enjoy my ice cream.

"Okay, lets see..." I say, pondering for a minute. "I leave my tea bag in my tea, I put water on my toothbrush before adding toothpaste, I pour cereal before milk, I occasionally take bites out of my ice cream, and I like my brownies to be crunchy. Also, I prefer boxed milk to regular jug milk." I say, watching as Chan nods.

"Okay. I take my tea bag out after a minute of letting it steep, I also put water on my toothbrush before toothpaste, cereal is always first and you can't tell me otherwise, I have literally never bitten any ice cream in my life, and my brownies can only have crunchy edges. As for milk, I do agree that I prefer boxed, but have you had bagged milk before?"

I can already tell that I probably look horrified. "What?! Who bags milk?!" I have honestly never heard of such a thing.

"Oh, c'mon, you have to try bagged milk at least once." Chan says, smiling as we take a seat on a bench.

I shake my head at him, returning to the normalcy of liking my ice cream. "I only drink boxed, end of story." I say, turning to see him roll his eyes.

"I swear I'll you see drink bagged milk before I die. And that, that is a promise to both myself, and to you."He says, grinning as I push my head back, creating a double chin.

"That almost sounds threatening."

He shrugs, continuing to eat his ice cream. "Then you should hear Changbin trying to compliment people, it's honestly quite horrifying."

We finish eating our ice cream, Chan deciding we could walk past some shops before heading home, even though it's getting close to nine, and my mom will probably call soon.

"So, you've never traveled out of country?" He asks as we pass a furniture store.

"Nope. I've lived in Seoul for as log I can remember, though my mom said I was born in Busan. What about you, like, besides living in Australia?" I say, kicking at a few pieces of gravel off the sidewalk.

"I've visited friends in America and thailand, I went to Hong Kong once too, but I never really went out and did stuff. I was sick a lot growing up, and had to stay inside for the most part." He says, stopping in front of a antique shops with the lights still on.

"Oh, that must've sucked."

He nods, shrugging a little as he stares at a set of Russian nesting dolls displayed in the window. "It did, and I was angry at myself growing up, always fed up because I couldn't join my friends, I could go and visit them, but I couldn't enjoy myself. As I grew up, I realized that it wasn't really my fault, or anyone else's, but it still sucked."

I nod, and in a way, I understand that feeling.

"What about you, what was your childhood like?"

"Oh, that." I shrug, shifting to lean against the wall next to the shop window. "I grew up mostly happy, sure, there were some bad times, but it was pretty good up until about six years ago? My parents started fighting a lot, and eventually they got a divorce after my dad came out as Bi. I of course was stuck in the middle, and no one ever told me what was going on, and Chae was somehow always there, picking up the pieces. Sometimes I think she thinks of me as more of her son than her brother."

He nods, smiling a little again. "Well, I suppose I should give your sister a gift basket then." He says, grinning as I cock an eyebrow at him.

"And why is that?" I ask, watching as he walks over to me.

"So I can properly thank her for making sure you were taken care if until I got here." He says with a chipper tone. His eyes crinkle at the sides when he smiles, and I realize that I've never noticed that they aren't a solid brown. They're speckled with flecks of amber, not quite gold, not quite honey.

He ruffles my hair up a little bit before he stops grinning like a maniac and returns to a normal smile. I can feel his gaze falling over the expanse of my face, and that does worry me a bit. I've never been particularly fond of how I look, but feeling him stare at me like this makes me ten times more insecure.

He turns his head to the side a little, as if questioning something, and it's right then that I realize he's blatantly staring at my lips right now. I'm not sure if he wants to kiss me, or not, maybe I have ice cream on my upper lip like he had earlier. My mind is running so wild I almost miss the way he inches forward ever so slightly.

He's close enough now that I can feel his breath fanning over my face, it's warm and contrasts the cold air that blows in soft breezes, displacing his curls in a way that makes him all the cuter in my opinion.

I close my eyes and wait for his lips to meet mine, and maybe I'm a little too expectant, but I'll never know because it never happens. Instead my phone goes off, interrupting the perfect moment.

"I... it's my mom." I say, recognizing the ringtone as Chan pulls away, obviously embarrassed by the whole thing.

" _Jeongin, it's nearly ten on a school_ _night_ _. Where are you?_ "

"I'm with a friend right now." I mumble, stealing a glance at Chan. His back is towards me, but I can tell he's a little disappointed, as am I

" _Okay, but come home. I don't need you failing your junior year like Chae did._ "

I try not to scoff, but it seems to impossible for me to do so, and I know what's going to come out of my mouth isn't going to be nice.

"She failed because she had to play mom while you off doing God knows what after the divorce. I know you have high expectations of me, but Chae has done so much more than you will ever even begin to comprehend." The words are just as bitter as they taste once they roll of my tongue, and I know I've hit a nerve by bringing up the divorce.

" _Home. Right now, or you're grounded for the next two weeks, and no more visiting Felix if this is the way you're going to act._ " She says sternly, though it makes no difference to me.

"Fine." I don't bother to wait for a response before I hit the _end call_ button on my phone. "I need to go home now." I say as Chan just nods, remaining silent as we walk to the car, all the way until we reach my apartment.

"About what happened back there..." He says, his cheeks slightly flushed pink.

I lean forward and place a quick kiss to his lips. He's bright red when I pull away, and I know that I am too, I can feel it in my cheeks.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" I say, only getting a nod in response. He must still be flustered. Cute. "Night, Chan."

"Night, Jeongin."

This will definitely be a date to remember.


	9. 九: Yes, Sir

I was lucky that mom was already asleep when I got home last night, she didn't see me wearing makeup. I'd worn it once before, but she told me to stop wearing it, but she never gave a reason why.

Needless to say, the first thing that happend when I woke up, was a lecture as I ate my breakfast. Normally, this would bother me to the point where I would be angry and stab my cereal. But today was different, because I had a great date the night prior, and nothing could dampen my mood.

School was as boring as it usual was, and I was so happy when it finally ended. Chae picked me up in her beat up Volkswagen bug with chipped mint green paint. The cars paint job, color only, was a stark contrast to Chae's usually black clothes. It made me smile every time she stood next to it.

"I'm gonna drop you off at home, 'cause I've got errands to run before I cme home. Got it?" She asks, pulling out of the school parking lot before heading home.

"Yep. So, is the errand a shopping trip, or a date?" I ask, turning to look at Chae. She rolls her eyes, but I can see that her attitude isn't as carefree as normal.

"It's just some last minute things I need to do before the colleges annual winter dance. Why, are you jealous that some other guy is going to take me away from you?" She says, reaching over to ruffle my hair, ignoring my cry of protest.

"I'd actually be very happy if you got a boyfriend. Better yet, what if you started dating what's his face? The guy you were crushing on in high schook, he goes to your college now... he's got blonde hair, you said he looked like a teddy bear?" I snap my fingers, trying to think of his name as Chae groans.

"His name is Kim Woojin, and he's way out of my league, Jeongin. Besides, his last girlfriend called me, and I quote 'a fat whore' anyone who dates someone like that, does not deserve someone as soft as me." She says with a chuckle, her tongue slipping out to wiggle one of her lip rings. So much for big soft.

"Well, at least she was wrong." I say, smiling as Chae giggles, a rare occurrence nowadays. "You're a tubby hoe, obviously, there is a difference."

Chae's laughs so hard I think she might lose oxygen to her brain. "Oh my God, I didn't raise you to be such a disrespectful little shit." She says, reaching over to hit my arm the same time she pulls into the apartment parking lot.

"No, but you raised me to love others, and to be more respectful towards others. And that's what matters. Even if I am a bit of a jerk to you at times-"

"You mean always?"

"-I still love you, and I'm thankful you were so supportive of me all this time." I say, flashing her a quick grin before giving her a peck on the cheek. "Now go get the things to make you beautiful and win the hearts of all the guys at school."

She smiles, chuckling a little. "I'll remember to leave you Chan, don't worry." She says, ruffling my hair once again before shooing me away, driving off once she sees me enter the apartments courtyard.

Five flights of stairs later, and I realize that the elevators are back in order now, which only seems to make my burning lungs angrier at me.

I stop in front of Chan's apartment for a moment, wondering if I should knock or not. I know we nearly kissed, and then I ended up giving him a peck once we got home, but I wonder if I wouldn't be bothering him.

I decide against it, turning on my heels to go to my apartment when I hear the elevator ding, followed by several pairs of footsteps. I barely have the key in the lock when someone calls my name.

Jisung, and all the rest of Chans friends, are crowding around the door of the apartment. Seungmin and Hyunjin are joined at the hip, Felix is clinging onto a short male I've never seen before, and I can vaguely see someone clinging onto Jisung from behind him.

"Did you wanna hang out with us today? Chan's making fried chicken tonight, and if this go according to plan, we'll probably end up watching horror movies and playing truth or dare." Jisung says, flashing a smile.

"Are you sure, I don't want to be a bother." I say, watching as Seungmin and Hyunjin both scoff.

"Please, if you're here, then we don't have to listen to Chan's ranting about you for hours on end. Please, for the love of God, say yes."

Felix hits his friend on the shoulder. "What Changbin means to say, is, that we'd really appreciate it if you came, and that it's really no bother. Hell, it's going to turn into couples night anyway now that Jisung is with Minho."

Jisung just nods, smiling as Minho finally untucks his head from the younger neck.

"Oh, Hi, Jeongin. Say, any spilled drinks today?" He jokes, smiling once I laugh.

"Not today, but the it's still pretty early in the day."

Everyone shares puzzled looks before Minho smiles. "I was their waiter on the date last night. It was interesting, to say the least."

Felix smiles. "Oh, c'mon, mate. If you end up hating it, you can literally leave, you live next door."

I nod, pulling my key out of the lock. "Oh, what the heck? I've got nothing to lose." I say, walking over.

"Yeah, nothing but your innocence. So, Changlix, keep it in your pants." Hyunjin says, giving a glare to Changbin and Felix ands the Australian turns bright red,

"It's not our fault you keep barging in our rooms at inappropriate times!" He says, Changbin simply smiling.

"Welcome to hell, Jeongin, the fun has just begun." Seungmin says, giving me a pat on the back as Jisung rips the door open without so much as knocking.

Yep, today will be interesting.


	10. 十: Oh, The Things That Happen

_Chan's po_ v

I jumped as the door burst open, the boys all piling into the living room as Jisung loudly started saying something too fast for me to quite catch all of it, and soon to follow in behind him, was Jeongin.

Memories of last night flashed in my mind, and I can recall that feeling that came over me when we were standing outside of the antiques store, our lips only inches apart. I exhale a shaky breath as he waves at me, slowly walking over as he looks at the screen.

"No mass effect today?" He asks in a joking tone, chasing away all my awkward feelings.

"Um, no. I actually have school work I was trying to catch up, before Jisung so rudely burst into the apartment." I say, watching as Jeongin smiles.

"Yeah, he was pretty adamant about opening the door as loudly, and violently, as possible." He said with a chuckle, looking over at the couche where everyone was gathered around, half of fhem having to sit on the floor.

"So, how was your day?" Wow, nice going Chan, you side like your dad! I know the boy makes me nervous occasionally, but this is a new kind of nervous.

"Pretty good despite my mom giving me a lecture, failing a math test, and getting hit in the face with a dodge ball earlier." He says nonchalantly, chuckling a little once he sees my horrified face. "Don't worry, I'm fine. My nose is still a little tender, but I'm otherwise completely fine, I swear." He chuckles again, and I just nod.

"You can go ahead and join the guys in whatever they're doing, and I'll be over in a minute. I just really need to get this paper submitted." I say, giving him a smile as he nods before walking off towards the guys.

Now, I've done cram assignments before, given its usually the day of, or a couple minutes before deadline, but this was going to be a tough one. I only have 200 out of 700 words written for this, and those 200 words already took nearly two hours to write. I blame my procrastination, but _eh_.

I barely click save before there's a loud crash followed by a few murmurs and a single ' _ouch._ ' I turn only to find the guys playing twister, both Minho and Felix laying in a tangled mess of limbs as Jisung and Changbin fight for the win.

"Left foot, red." Hyunjin says, laughing a little as Jisung stretches his body, Changbin only moving his foot a circle over.

"How are you still up? You're short, and can barely bender over to grab anything. So how the fuck can you do a back bend so well?!?!" Jisung shouts at Changbin, moving his hand over to the next color, Seungmin and Jeongin watching in anticipation as both Jisung and Changbin's arms begin to shake.

"Right hand... blue." Hyunjin stifles a giggle a he watches Jisung smirk in triumph right before Changbin's leg gives iut, sending both of them to their asses in a few short seconds.

I shake my head, joining the others on the couch, Jeongin scooting over to give me more room, though, he ends up squishing Hyunjin and Seungmin closer together. Not that either of them will complain.

"So, about that fried chicken?" Jisung says from under Changbin, too tired to even try and push the older off of himself as everyone else turns towards me expectantly.

"Fine. Just know I hate you all." I say, standing up before heading into the kitchen to get everything ready, Jeongin appearing not too long after, the others busy playing DDR.

"I figured you could use some help." He says with a smile, joining me in the preparations for the chicken.

"Yeah, I probably could use some help." I admit before explaining how to make the fried chicken properly, Jeongin following every instruction. Unlike some people. Cough-Felix-Cough.

We get all the chicken in the batter before Jeongin has to excuse himself to the bathroom, leaving me to fry everything up per usual. All is well until the oil in he pan pops, somehow managing to hit my neck of all places.

"FOR FUCKS SAKE!"

Jeongin comes in right about as it slips out of my mouth, and I know he's stifling a laugh as he digs in the freezer, grabbing out a bag of frozen ravioli, since we don't have peas or corn.

He hands me the ravioli before tending to the chicken. "You might put aloe Vera on it if you have any." He says, plating the chicken alongside the veggies we'd made earlier.

I simply nod, helping him set the table before calling the boys over to eat. Per Felix's request, we pray over the meal, though I know that Minho and Changbin are completely ignoring it.

Dinner is pretty chill, despite the ever arguing Jisung and Changbin, both Felix and Minho simply shrugging any not each other as they ignore their boyfriends.

"So, how's your neck?" Seungmin asks, casually replacing the wing on his plate for the leg on Hyunjin's.

"It still stings, but I'm fine." I answer, going to take a sip of my coke.

"You could always have Jeongin kiss it better." Hyunjin suggests with a grin, causing me to choke on my coke, and for Jeongin to turn redder than Seungmin's hair.

Dinner finished up shortly after that, an intense game of call of duty being played due to Felix pulling the Xbox out of his room, stating that whoever beat him after COD, could have free range on his phone for thirty minutes. Needless to say, chaos ensued afterwards, everyone waning to know what the ever phone-prude Australian had hidden on his phone.

It was a lot of Got7 fanfic and awkward photos of Changbin.

Most everyone left after that, Jeongin only staying because we were cuddled up on the couch trying to watch Spirited Away, which to my great shock, Jeongin had never seen before.

He nearly passes out twice, waking up only to start drifting off again.

"If you're really tired, you can go to sleep." I say, pushing sme his hair out of his face as he shakes his head.

"I'm fine... I'm awake." He drawls, his eyes going all droopy again before they shut.

"Are you sure? Its almost nine anyway, you can just stay the night if you're this tired."

His eyes crack open a little before he leans over to grab his phone. "Crap." He mumbles right before it rings. "Hi, Chae." He mumbles softly, sounding sleepy as he sits up, yawning a little. "Yeah, I'll cover for you tomorrow... if mom calls, can you tell her I'm with you and Hani." He pauses for a minute. "You know what, tell her I'm with Jaeran, she won't bother to ask anything else.... alright, love you too. Bye." He hangs up, laying back down. "I'll take you up on the offer for sleep."

I chuckle, picking him up bridal style so I can carry him to my room. I set him down on the bed, pulling out an old tshirt and shorts before tossing them to him. "Change into these, it tends to get warm in here, and jeans and a sweater aren't exactly the best pajamas."

He smiles, nodding as I grab my own pajamas. "Thanks, Chan."

I just smile before going to get my shower coming back to find Jeongin wrapped up in my clothes and happily snuggled into the sheets.

I climb into bed next to him, turning off the lamp as I feel him shift closer to me, cuddling into my side as I feel myself drift off.

I could get used to this.


	11. 十一: A Woman... Minus The Wo?

I woke up to my phone going off, Chae telling me to meet her at our apartment in twenty minutes or so, and I figured it would be better to be early than late, as Chae wasn't the most forgivng.

"I'll bring your shirt and shorts back later." I tell Chan, grabbing my clothes off the end of his bed as he shakes his head.

"Keep them, they're too small for me." He says, smiling once he sees how flushed my cheeks are. They feel warm and I know I look like a tomato.

"Oh, okay... um, I'll be going now, see you later."

"Bye, Jeongin."

I close the door to his apartment before making a mad dash for my own apartment, and even though I'm only at the door, I can hear Chae and Hani screeching.

I see an unfamiliar boy sitting on the couch, his hair cut short and shaved at the side like Hani's boyfriend, Johnny.

"Oh, hey, Jeongin." He says, smiling as he gives a slight wave.

"Uh, hi?" He seems to know me, but I have no clue who he is. He seems to take notice too.

"You don't recognize me with a haircut and eyeliner, do you?" He asks, a smile playing at his lips as he stands up.

"Should I?" I'm at a loss, I don't recognize him, but he does sound familiar, but I can't place it.

"CONI, GET THE FUCK IN HERE, HANI'S ASS WON'T FIT IN THIS DRESS WITHOUT YOUR HELP!" Chae yells from her room, the boy just sighs.

"Well, that should give you enough information." He smiles again before walking into Chae's room. "Well how the hell did you manage to do that?" I hear him say.

I try and piece everything together from the begining. Conii and Chae have been best friends since sixth grade, I always thought Coni was a girl... but Coni is actually a guy? It would explain why sh _-h_ e never wore any skirts or dresses before. Okay, well even if he had, I still wouldn't have known.

I shake my head before walking into Chae's room, giggling once I see the diseray that the room is in. Jaeran and Coni are trying to squeeze Hani into a black ball gown, Chae is attempting to button herself up in a traditional red qipao and I'm not going to lie, she finally looks like a woman.

"A little help please?" She asks, raising her eyebrows at me as she continues to struggle with the buttons. I help her with the buttons, smiling once she's finally buttoned up completely. She smiles brightly, rushing over to the mirror on the back of her door to see how she looks.

"Ohhh, if I wasn't already dating Jaemin!" Jaeran says with a wild grin, coming over to make Chae spin in place so he can see how it fits.

"I thought you were dating Park Jisung though?" Hani says confused, looking over at her cousin who's turned beet red.

"Well, I, erm..... kinda?" He stumbles over his words and Coni chuckles.

"You're totally in a polyamorous relationship, aren't you?"

Jaeran bye his lip. "It isn't official, like, we've talked about it, but nothing is definite yet..." He says, scratching he nape of his neck as Hani and Chae squeel, rushing over to gush about it, meanwhile Coni gives a shrug.

"Forever alone." He says with a chuckle, sighing immediately afterwards.

"I'm sure someone will find you soon." I say, trying to lighten the mood as he cracks a smile.

"Well, there's this one guy in my English class at the college. He's super nice and cute, and he's thai so he's got this weird accent that makes him get tongue twisted... but, I'm pretty sure he's straight, so..."

"What's his name?" I ask, sitting on the bed next to Coni.

"Ten. Well, his real name is Chitaaphon Leechaiyapornkul, but he goes by Ten." Coni says giving a shrug as I nearly fall off the bed.

"He's the gayest person I've ever known!" I screech unintentionally, grabbing Coni by the shoulders. "Chae used to be on the dance team before she broke her ankle, and let me tell you, the boy is _ga_ y he is the poster child for _gays_. Chae can literally get you a date with him if you ask, they're still best friends. And Hani is dating his cousin, so you can always get a good word from them, like, Boi, go after it."

Coni let's put a laugh, his eyes crinkling at the sides. "That is the most uplifting, and gayest, pep talk I've ever heard. But, I suppose it couldn't hurt to ask... thanks, Jeongin." He pats my back as both Hani and Chae walk over.

"I heard the words gay, Ten, dance, and date. What can I help you with?" Chae asks, plopping down on her bed ass Hani and Jaeran pile on too, crowding the twin sized mattress.

"Coni likes Ten!" I blurt out, earning a smack to the shoulder.

"Traitor!" Coni says with a laugh, blushing like a madman as Chae coos.

"Do you sit by him in English class by any chance?" Chae asks, a smile finding it's way to her lips as Coni nods. Chae stands up, and in the happiest voice I've ever heard from her, she proudly proclaims: "My OPT has finally sailed, suck on that, you TaeTen shipper!" She says, pointing at Jaeran.

"I came here to have a good time, and I'm feeling very attacked." He says, throwing a pillow over his face as Hani laughs at him.

"So, what's with the dresses anyway?" I ask, finally getting to the point.

"Oh, these are for the winter ball." Chae says simply, earning are nod from everyone else.

"But the usual theme is white and silver." I mumble, looking at Hani black ballgown and Chae's red qipao.

"We know." Hani says with a smirk.

"Now, on more serious note," Jaeran says, sitting up as he looks at me, pointing a finger my way. " _Whos_ e shirt is _that?_ "

I look down only to realize I haven't changed out of the clothes Chan lent me to sleep in, and now everyone is curious thanks to Jaeran. "I ended up sleeping at Chan's last night, he lent me these to sleep in, I just haven't had a chance to change yet..."

It's all of two seconds before everyone is cooing and UwU-ing over the fact that Chan lent a shirt to sleep in, and then the fact that we slept together in his bed, and I've honestly never wanted to crawl in a hole more than I do right at this moment.

But I'm still happy, and I suppose that's a good thing.


	12. 十二: Ask Me

I had been spending more and ore time at Chan's place, whether it was for studying or just messing around while playing games, odds are, you'd find me there.

Chan often claimed I worked _too_ hard on my schoolwork, dragging me away from it to cuddle on the couch as we watched movies or played DDR or any other game.

As of right now, Chan and I had made a a bet. Whoever won this Mario Kart tournament, got to make the loser do whatever they wanted, and there was no backing out. And Chan must've had something planned, as he played mercilessly, using every trick in the game.

"You can't just purposeful shove me off, ya know?" I huff out as the game reloads me back onto the rainbow road course, Chan chuckling slightly as he shrugs.

"I thought we said whoever _won,_ not whoever played _fair._ "

Oh, so that's how he wants to play it?

I grinned evilly as I gained speed, easily catching up to him as the NPC baby peach ran off the road. Carefully, I scooted closer to Chan, just until our thighs touched. He was taken back by the sudden touching, and I smiled in triumph as he let his guard down, allowing me to pass by him easily.

"Oh, you did not just do what I think you did!" He shouts, watching as I zip by him, crossing over the finish line just seconds before him.

But in the end it didn't matter anyway, he'd won by five points, smirking in triumph as I slumped down, awaiting the dreaded punishment.

"Go to the winter ball with me." Chan said smiling widely as I sat there confused.

"But, that's for college students." I mumble, watching as Chan shakes his head.

"Yes, but if you're a student, you get a plus one, regardless of if they attend the college or not. And you, as my boyfriend, will be my plus one."

I know my cheeks turned red upon the word _boyfriend_. It was the first time the term had been used, and I wasn't complaining, but damn, why did that make me feel so flustered all of the sudden?

"Uh, yeah, I'll go." I can honestly say, I never expected _thi_ s to happen. Then again, I never expected to fall in love with an Australian who's four years my senior, but _eh_. Things happen.

Chan grins, doing a cute little shoulder wiggle before practically throwing himself down besides me. "Is it too early to say I love you?" He asks with a smile, his eyes showing a sincerity I've only ever seen from one other person.

I try to compose myself before I answer him, hoping my voice won't betray me. "Even if it is, I love you too." I thought it would be harder to say that, but surprisingly, the words rolled off my tongue easily. But not the way a lie does, no, this left a soft warm and fuzzy feeling as Chan grinned.

There was a brief moment, when he'd been running his hands through my hair, that I thought he might kiss me, as his face got closer to mine. But, as our life has been planned out, _hi_ s phone went off.

He'd recently often a job at some agency for amateur music producers, and they kept calling at all odd hours of the day.

He took he call, hanging up with a sigh. "It's work-"

"Not surprised."

"-I promise we'll hang out again either later today, or tomorrow." He gave me a small kiss to the forehead, smiling as we exited the apartment at the same time. Him to go to work, and me to go home.

Chae was home again today, her 80's music blaring from her room as things rustled around. She was most likely cleaning, ass her room often got to the point of being called a pigsty. Though, somehow, she always knew where everything was.

Mom was out, but her laptop was on the table, meaning she was probably at the laundromat located downstairs. She often used her time at home to occupy herself with mundane chores such as laundry and dishes, never putting aside any downtime. Chae and I used to joke that it was the reason why dad left. But we both know that wasn't true, it just made the reality as bit more bearable.

I threw myself down on my bed before looking over at he clock, it was 6pm, and as weird as it sounds, I went to get a shower. I took all the time I wanted, as Chae was still cleaning her room, and mom didn't have to go into work tomorrow morning, meaning that she wouldn't have a problem staying up to let more water warm. Hell, she usually stayed up to watch old reruns of shows anyway.

I took my time to leisurely apply my skin care products, making sure that I would look my best for this coming week, as the winter ball wasn't far away, and I didn't want to have red splotchy skin, a common problem for my family.

I got dressed before heading into my room, settling down at the desk to catch up on a little ME:3 gaming, since I only ever played with Chan nowadays.

I could hear my come into the apartment, followed by two baskets of laundry being plopped down onto the living rooms hard wood flooring. These walls were only so thick, and the wood floors made even the smallest sounds echo throughout the apartment. It was something you got used to after after while, which is why I tuned everything else out until I heard my mom calling my name.

I paused my game, leaving the sanctity of my room only to see mom in he living room holding Chan's shirt in her hands.

"Whose is this?" She asks, her tone serious and stern as I panic.

She knows. She already knows.

"Mom, I can explain." I say, stumbling over my words as she narrows her eyes.

"You'd better start explain yourself then, and fast."

Well, shit.


	13. 十三: Answers

I could feel my palms begin to sweat as mom stared me down, her naturally narrow eyes narrowing even further as she continued to hold up Chan's shirt.

"Well, I'm waiting." She said, raising her eyebrows at me as my breathing became shallow, my thoughts clouding as she raised her voice at me due to the lack of response. "Answer me when I'm talking to you, Jeongin."

My chest felt compacted as the words came crashing out of my mouth.

"I stayed at Chan's place the other night when Chae said I was with Jaeran and Hani." Tears threatened to spill as a look of dissatisfaction spread across her face.

"Jeongin, I want the _whole_ truth, don't give me half assed excuses."

"Fine. You want to know the truth? I'm dating Chan, I'm in love with him, and he makes me feel complete, and I'm not letting you take that away from me!" I didn't know how to feel as Chae's music came to a halt, her door creaking open as she peaked out of her room.

"What's going on?" Chae asks coldly, stepping into the living room as mom holds up the shirt again. Chae's eyes narrow as she looks over at me, then back to mom. "You have a problem with something?" She asks, crossing her arms as mom huffed.

"Well, for starters, both of your attitudes." She said sternly, tossing Chan's shirt back on top of the laundry basket. "Second of all, I'm wanting answers as to what the hell is going on here."

"Jeongin is gay, what more needs to be said?" Chae said with a sigh, her posture still defensive both of them seemed to slowly forget I was in the room as their voices raised, accusations and comments being shouted back and forth.

"Is there anything wrong with being gay?!" Chae finally snapped, her voice raising an all time high. "I mean, that's why you divorced dad isn't it? He was bisexual, and that was too much for you to handle, so you just divorce him, leaving me to take care of Jeongin!"

"That isn't why we divorced!" Mom practically roared.

"THEN WHY DID YOU? EXPLAIN IT TO ME MOM, TELL ME THE REASON I HAD TO RAISE JEONGIN, THE REASON JEONGIN GREW UP WITHOUT A DAD, AND WITHOUT HIS _MOTHER_!"

"BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON ME!" Mom broke down in tears, sobbing as Chae relaxed her shoulders. "He cheated on me..." Mom sank down to her knees as she cried, her arms pulling tighter around herself as Chae and I shared a look, Chae sighing.

"Then why did you never let us see him?" Chae asks, his voice still bitter, much more gentle.

"He got into some trouble aft-after we split... he didn't want you to be around him, and I just... I wanted what was best for all of us... I'm sorry." She was sobbing again, and Chae just chuckled as she sat down next to mom.

"Well, I think it's safe to say that being an emotional wreck is genetic."

I wiped ghe tears from my eyes as I joined them on the floor, mom wrapped up in Chae's arms as mom wrapped her arms around me.

"So, you're okay with me being gay?" I ask quietly, earning a little squeeze from mom.

"You could be banana-sexual, and I would still love you." Mom said with a chuckle, kissing the top of my head.

"Well, Jeongin is definitely a, um, _bottom_ , so... isn't that the same thing?" Chae asks, earning a chuckle from mom as I flush red.

"I'm telling my boss that joke, oh, he'll tease his son for _days."_ Mom said with a laugh as I groaned.

"I liked it better when I was a closet gay." I mumble, earning laughs from both mom and Chae.

"If we're being completely honest here," Mom begins to say. "I thought that Chae had a boyfriend, and was... hoe-ing around, and he left his shirt here."

"Mom!" Chae screeched, lightly hitting her on the shoulder as mom chuckled.

"Oh, no, don't tell me I raised _two_ homo kids." Mom said dramatically as Chae groaned.

"Nah, Chae is a _HET_ for life." I say with a chuckle.

Mom laughs. "So I'll actually get grand babies, right Chae?" She asks, to which Chae groans.

"I'm going to kill you, Jeongin."

"But the power of gay protects me!" I counter, laughing as mom squeezes me tighter.

"Yeah, yeah, now go to bed guys, it's getting late." Mom finally says, standing up. She hugs us, giving both of a kiss on the forehead, regardless of Chae's protest. "I love you guys, goodnight."

"We love you too mom, goodnight." Chae and I say in unison, each of us returning to our respective rooms.

I turn off ME:3 before laying down on my bed, my phone ringing.

It's Chan.

We talk for a few hours, and now that my mom knows I'm gay, he's trying to persuade me to let them meet. He claims he wants her approval, though we both know we'd still date without it.

I start drifting off not long after, Chan telling me goodnight as we hang up.

I feel content finally. Happy with where I'm at in life, and with what I have.

I may not have the perfect family, but I have my family. And they love me for who I am.

I also have a boyfriend, who also loves me for who I am.

I don't feel so scared anymore.


	14. 十四: Dressed To Perfection

It had been a week since I'd come out to my mom, and also a week since Chan asked me to go to the ball with him. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, because of it.

And now, the day had come. The winter ball would be at the college _tonight_ , and I would be going with Chan. It made my stomach flutter wildly for some reason, I suppose it was the fact that nearly everyone in his college would know about us.

Hani, Jaeran, and Conii had come over early to help get us ready and vice versa, insisting we all needed to look our best. Mom had also insisted we get ready earlier than we originally had planned, saying that she wanted about a thousand photos before we left. Of course, as usual, Chae groaned at the thought of pictures.

"We all know I'm ugly, I don't need it in photo proof!" Chae had whined, a charcoal bubble mask still thick on her face as Hani tried to paint her nails. Needless to say, she'd definitely need to clean them up around the edges.

"Your mom is going to get photos regardless of how much you complain, and if we down, we go down together." Jaeran said as he poked his head out of the bathroom, still in the middle process of styling his hair.

Chae just groaned as there was a muffled commotion in Chae's room.

"Um, Jae, I think I put on your pants..." Conii called out, earning a groan and slur of mumbled curse words as Jae put down his hair products to help Conii out of _hi_ s pants.

Chae and Hani shared a look before they burst into laughter, Hani accidentally painting a streak of red up Chae's hand, to which they both laughed harder.

"I'm not made for these types of things!" Hani wheezed out, putting the nail polish up as mom shook her head at them, retreating into the kitchen.

"And you think I am?" Chae asked through her near tears, still laughing a little. "I play Dungeons and Dragons as a hobby, I wasn't made for these things either."

"Then why are we going?" Hani whined out, tossing herself down on the couch only to let ot a howl of pain, as the curlers in her hair dug into her scalp a little.

"Because Johnny asked you to," I say pointing at Hani. "and because you want to show up in a bright red dress and make everyone feel awkward." I say as I point to Chae, she simply nods in return.

"You right, fam." She says wistfully as Jaeran re-emerges from her room, his hair a little disheveled.

"I can safely say that Conii and I have reached a new level of friendship." He says before returning to the bathroom to continue fixing his hair as Hani and I laugh.

Eventually (with little to help from Mom, as she kept trying to sneak photos of us) we were all done getting dressed. Conii had insisted on doing my makeup, to which Jaeran had insisted on doing my hair, slicing it up to show my forehead off more than I usually let it.

"Oh, my baby is all grown up!" Mom said dramatically as she threw her arms around me, squeezing me tightly as I just sighed. She pulled away, kissing my forehead. "Ugh, makeup makes you look too grown up!" She whines, only to be chuckled at by Chae who walks into the living room in her red qipao, a nude undershirt covering all if her tattoos up.

She seems to notice me staring at it too, because she just chuckles.

"I love my tattos, but they aren't exactly suitable for a formal event." She says with a chuckle as a knock is heard at the door. "I'll get it."

Conii makes a last minute adjustment to my tie as a six foot giant steps into our living room.

"Hi, Johnny hyung." I say, waving as he smiles back at me.

"Hey, kiddo."

"YOUNG HO!" Hani screeches, running out of Chae's room only to wrap Johnny up in at big hug.

"I ship it." Jaeran whispers as Johnny kisses the top of Hani's head, making a joke about how short she is next to him, to which Chae rolls her eyes.

Another knock is heard at the door, and this time, I answer it.

Chan's smiles widely at me as soon as I open the door, and I can't help but smile back.

"You look... amazing." I manage to get out, still in awe of how good he looks in a suit/tux. Then again, he could wear a potato sack, and I would still think he looked good in it.

"You look amazing too." He says sheepishly, to which there are multiple uwu's from behind me.

Mom clears her throat from behind me. "So, are you going to introduce me to your boyfriend, or do I need to wait until the wedding day?" She says sassily, causing me blush wildly as Chan stifles a laugh.

"Chan, this is my mother. Mom, this is Chan. My boyfriend." Oh, I love the way that rolls off my tongue.

He bows politely, smiling widely at her. "Hello, Mrs. Yang."

Mom snorts. God, Chae takes after her more than I thought. "Yah, don't be so formal. You can call me Tae-Hee or mom." She says, winking at me ands Chan just nods.

"Sure thing, _mom_." Oh, so that's how he's gonna be.

"Okay guys, we need to get going if we want to actually get there on time." Johnny says, ushering us all out before mom can snap anymore surprise shots of us.

I think that both Chae and I will forever be eternally grateful for that small little deed, especially since everyone knows that Johnny is going to be photo documenting everything the entire night. He has a habit of being social media addicted. But what's new?

We pile into Johnny's minivan, squishing together a bit as he turns the car on, the engine reving to life. Hani immediately turns on the radio, a special jpop station immediately playing an upbeat song.

"Ugh, Hani, no." Chae groaned, slumping back in her chair as Jaeran nodded.

"Hani, yes." He said, smiling wildly as Chae shook her head, everyone starting to converse as we began the forty-five minute car ride to the college.

Chan laughed at their arguing, such topics as ' _why pinapple doesn't belong on pizza_ ' all the way to ' _acceptable reasons to throw yourself off a bridge for_ ' to which Conii had simply answer _"for any reason."_

I sighed, chuckling a little as I slide my earphones in, toning out their nonsense as the car gently lulled me asleep a little bit, my mind being out to ease as my thoughts drifted away from the dance.

I no longer though of how nervous I was, and I could no longer feel my stomach do flips, my heart settling down a bit too as I turned my music up enough to drown out Conii uwu-ing over something Johnny had said.

Everything was fine, until I heard a screech. It was anyone in the car. No, this was much louder, and much less human. Then, in a split second, everything seemed to slow as the events unfolded.

The car jerked forward with a strong force, everyone going forward in their seats due to the impact. Hani had hit her head on the dash. Jaeran had managed to grab the seat, narrowly avoiding a head injury, though neither Chae nor Conii were as lucky.

Chae's head made contact with Johnny's headrest, and then the window. Blood trickled down her face as Conii hit his head on the window.

I could see neither Johnny nor Chan, but I had a bad feeling about it as my vision started to go black, everything fading out as I began to feel heavy.

This isn't the way I planned on going out. I still wanted to live my life. Oh, I wanted to do so many more things than this.

But, it looks like life had other plans.


	15. 十五: All Eyes On Us

I wake up to Chan shaking me softly, a small smile on his lips as he chuckkes.

"Wake up, sleepy head, we're here."

I look around only to find we're in the college parking lot, Chae and Conii waiting outside of the car for us.

It was a dream.

It was all just a _bad dream_.

I yawn, unbuckling myself before heading inside where everyone else is already mingling with other students and plus ones, hardly any professors in sight.

Chan grabs my hand and smiles widely as we walk around, talking to people here and there, some which are just classmates, and others who have known Chan since he first moved here.

"ChAn!"

Chan groans, turning on his heels only to be engulfed in a hug by a platinum haired male, who has a raven haired male trailing closely behind him.

"Hi, BamBam." Chan says, returning the hug as 'BamBam' hurriedly chatters on about something.

"You must be Jeongin, Chan's boyfriend." The raven haired male says as he turns to face me. "I'm YuGyeom, I'm BamBam's boyfriend."

I smile, shaking his hand as we begin to talk, and surprisingly, we click. We're hardly anything alike, but we both seem to get along really well.

"Oh, Jeongin, this is BamBam, my friend from Thailand."

Oh, he's _tha_ t friend.

"Oh, uh, Hi?"

BamBam just chuckles at me, pulling me in for a hug as the four of us continue to talk. Turns out, YuGyeom is a total **top**. Which, is actually a bit of a shock to me, but _eh._

I look around the room a little bit, looking to see what everyone else is doing. Hani and Johnny are already dancing, though Johnny is a total klutz when it comes to formal dancing. Conii is off to the side, talking to Ten with more than a subtle blush dancing it's way across his cheeks. Jaeran is nowhere to be seen, and Chae is talking to someone, though, there's something awkward about her posture.

Typically, she slouches, like, _reall_ y bad. But as of right now, her back is straight, her head is held high, and she seems determined about something. Which is unusual, not because she never tries, but because you never _see_ her try. Just like you'll hardly ever see her cry.

I watch as she walks away from the group of people she'd been talking to, rolling her eyes a little as she mumbles to herself. Then a man approaches her, his blonde hair swept up and away from his forehead.

Woojin.

Her face lights up when she sees him, and it's the happiest I've ever seen her before. I smile before turning my attention back to Chan and the others.

After a little more conversation, YuGyeom finally decides to drag BamBam away to the dance floor, and damn, they're good. Like, YuGyeom has got to be trained for this kind of stuff.

"I'm jealous." I say to Chan, watching as the other two dance elegantly across the dance flooe, even Hani and Johnny seem to take notice.

"YuGyeom takes classes for classical ballroom dance, and hiphop, and BamBam does tango and hiphop. It's actually how they met." Chan says fondly, squealing my hand a little, though it makes my heart rate speed up by a lot.

We continue to watch them and other couples, uwu-ing over some of the cute ones, and chuckling at the ones who don't know iow to dance but still anyway.

Finally, Chan turns towards me with a grin. "Would you like to dance?" He asks, the grin never leaving his lips, even as I nod, letting him pull me onto the dance floor.

"I don't know how to do this." I say with a nervous chuckle as Chan smiles at me.

"Just follow my lead, and 1-2-3, 1-2-3..." He counts off the numbers until I get the basics down, simply chuckling every time I miscount and step on his foot, though it isn't very often.

A slower song comes on after a little bit, Chan pulling me closer as the song progresses, just until our noses nearly bump. Our eyes lock, and everything seems to slow as he leans in, our lips meeting in a sweet embrace.

He pulls away shortly after, his cheeks a bright crimson red as we both awkwardly smile at each other. I rest my head on his shoulder as we continue to dance, Chae just barely visible in my line of sight.

She's smiling widely, still talking to Woojin as another girl approaches. Woojin makes a couple of hand motions to the girl, smiling as Chae simply nods, the other girl latching herself onto Woojin.

Woojin excuses himself after a moment, leaving the girl and Chae behind. She says something to Chae, which causes her to furrow her bros, a defensive expression immediately taking over. And then tears, a flood of tears streamed down Chae's cheeks.

And boy, that girl must have said something really bad, as Chae took one step forward, slapped her across the cheek (not _to_ o horribly hard) before turning on her heels and walking away.

Chae immediately walks over to grab a drink, ready to do lord only knows what, as a male bumps into her, spilling his drink down the front of her qipao.

He apologizes profusely, and she just sighs, using a napkin to try and soak up some of the drink. And he must've said something funny to lighten the mood, because now Chae is laughing, and not her usual 'oh, funny.' Kind of laugh, no, this is the ugly snorting kind of laugh she does when Hani and did Jaeran tell stories about embarrassing moments.

"Hey, Jeongin, look." Chan whispers excitedly, pointing over to where Conii and Ten are actually kissing. And heated too.

"Wow."

"I know!"

We both share a laugh as we go and sit down at at table due to my feet hurting and Chan from being thirsty. Jaeran joins me once Chan excuses himself to get something to drink, stopping to talk to a few people along the way.

"So, how's the bf?" Jaeran asks, cutely pouting while holding his head up by proping his arms up on he table.

"Good." I say, watching as he rolls his eyes.

"Boi, I saw you kiss him and you just sayin' ' _good._ ' Like, wow, if I was your boyfriend, I'd be offended." He says sassily, throwing and very thick ethnic accent on it to emphasize his point. Which, works for some reason.

We continue to talk, a little and before Chan can come back to the table, someone else drags him away to do more talking. So, I enjoy more of Jaeran's couple than I initially intended to.

"Ugh I thought this school was respectable, but apparently they let just anyone in." A girl said as she passed by Jaeran and I, though Jaeran didn't not seem to take the comment lightly.

"And what exactly do you mean by that?" He asks, his tone stern like Chae's.

The girl turns to look at him, her eyes narrowed at him. "I mean, I thought that this school was still good, but the fact that people like _yo_ u are here just proves it isn't."

"And what the hell do you mean by people like us, huh?" He couldn't just drop it.

"Gays, homosexuals, get it? Or do I need to spell it out for you?" She asks, crossing her arms as Jaeran looks like he's about to go flying out of his seat.

"Listen, you-"

"Do we have a problem here?" Hani asks, suddenly appearing out of the blue, Johnny nowhere to be seen.

"I don't know, do we?" The girls asks, looking Hani up and down, disgust written across her face as Hani rolls her eyes.

"Well, considering that this is my cousin, and my best friends brother, then yeah, I'd say we do."

Hani and the girl end up in a heated discussion which doesn't look likes it's going to end well until Hani whispers something in the girls ear, causing her to scurry away.

"What did you say to her?" I ask, boh amazed, confused, and also a little scared.

Hani just smiles. "Just girl stuff, nothing you need to worry about, Innie." Hani flashes another smile as Johnny appears with drinks.

Soon, everyone is situated at the table, sharing a few laughs here and there as we swap out stories, Johnny excitedly talking about the time his cousin hoarded all the bread in the house for whatever reason.

Sure, tonight definitely had its pitfalls, but I got to spend it some pretty amazing people, and that's all that matters.

Because these aren't just my friends.

These people are my family.


	16. 十六: All About Chae-Ri

"Hey, Hani, do you think the cream sweater, or the brown sweater would be better?" I ask, biting my lip as I hold out boh options, Hani scrunching her nose up at both.

"Umm, honey, I get you liked the guy, but you're the ᴇᴅɢᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅ™... so, where's the black at?" Hani asks, making the Kermit face as she extends her hands towards my closet.

"He's not the kind of guy that would..."

"That would what? Like you for who you are?" Hani asks, her hands falling limp in her lap as I sigh. She's right, and I know she us, but it doesn't make me feel any better about it.

"I didn't mean it like... he's not... he's older, and I don't want to seem like a kid to him. I really like him, but I feel like being _me_ isn't good enough." I say, earning a groan of disapproval from Hani as she stands up from the lumpy bean bag in the corner of my room.

She walks over to the closet before pulling out my favorite black velvet sweater, a white dress shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans. "If he still thinks you're a kid once he gets to know your sharp tongue, then he isn't worth your time. Now get dressed, your hair and face still look like crap."

I smile at her words, shaking my head before I begin to change. "Love you too, Hani."

"Yep, now hurry up."

I barely get the shirt over my head before she's got my whole makeup drawer out on my bed and ready to be used at her disposal.

Product after product is applied until she deems that I don't look half as ugly as before. Like thanks bro, way to be motivational and supportive.

My hair is easily done, pinned back at the sides and then dressed up with a couple of decorative hair pins that are only visible when they catch the light.

"Okay, well, go get your man!" Hani says with a wide grin, ushering me out of the apartment as I roll my eyes at her. She's always like this when she's too happy. It's cute really. If not a tad bit much at times.

"Please make sure that Chan and Jeongin don't do anything stupid, and if they do, remember to call the police." I wave one last time before making my way down, taking the finally repaired elevator down to the first floor.

The café that Choong-Jae had asked me to meet him in was only a little ways away, and was actually quite empty once I arrived. And from the looks of it, I was early.

I ordered a large smoothie at the counter before going to sit in one of the tables by the window. Slowly, water droplet fell, some splattered against the window, some against cars, and some against people.

"Your drink." The waitress said with a smile as she set the smoothie down, her whole presence overwhelmingly happy. In a good way though. It made me smile.

The door swung open, the bell riging at the same time as a crack of Thunder rung out through the sky outside. And in stepped Choong-Jae, half soaked to the bone as he approached the table.

"I'm sorry for taking so long, I got held up at work, and well..." He trailed off as he looked outside to where a small storm was now raging on.

"It's alright, I've only been here for a minute or two." I say, trying my hardest not to seem like a fool. Which, is harder than it looks, believe me.

He smiles awkwardly as one of the baristas behind the counter waves and smiles at him. "The usual?" They ask with a smile, Choong-Jae nodding in approval as he shrugs off his coat.

"So, Choong-Jae.." I trail off as he looks at me, his eyes crinkling at the sides.

"You can call me Junjin if you want, people say it makes me easier to talk to." And then he grins that grin of his. And ugh, why? If this is how Jeongin feels about Chan 24/7, then I understand why he's been such a wreck as of late.

"Alright. So, _Junjin_ , why did you go into the history department, when your heart has always been in music?" It was a question I'd been wanting to ask since the ball, and it was eating at me to know.

"Well, during my college days, I had actually planned on going into music, not just being a music professor."

"Like an idol?" I ask, amused by he idea of seeing him on stage sith hundreds of fangirls screaming at the top of their lungs. I probably would've been one of them.

"Yes, like an idol. I managed to get picked up by an entertainment a little way through my junior year, but then there was an accident, and I broke my hand, and it left my lungs injured, so, music wasn't really an option." There's that sad look that settles on his face. "I can still play and sing, but not like I used to. What about you? You're a talented cellist, and yet you're an art major?"

I smile, laughing a little at the comment. "To be honest, as much as I love music, it's more of my brothers thing. I can't really explain it, but I've always been drawn towards paint. It's like I see paint and I immediately want to paint something. Whereas with music, I used to beat into my brain."

He smiles, thanking the barista for his coffee before returning his attention to me. "Then why stay on with the orchestra? If you love art that much, you should throw yourself into it, you should be as passionate as you want to be. Why hold back?"

"Because there is a higher chance of me getting accepted into a professional orchestra after college, than of me even becoming remotely stable with my artwork. And if the way life continues as it has been, I want to be prepared to care for me, my brother, and my mom."

His face softens as he nods, and there's that glint in his eyes that's oh so familiar, and yet so foreign. "I have no doubt in he world that you'd be one of the greatest artists of your time. Don't let the world tell you what you should, tell the world what it* should do."

I smile a little, and as much as I hate to say it (because he's such a great guy) but what the hell did I ever see in Woojin when I can get a man like this?!

He makes me laugh with ease, makes me smile with am renewed happiness. He makes me feel like I haven't felt in am very long time.

And if there's one thing that I know is absolute since I met him, it's that the 1980's, are officially my favorite year.


	17. 十七: It's Time To Say Goodbye

_ Chan's pov _

I've been putting this off for too long. I've been keeping myself busy with Jeongin, trying to spend as much time with him as I can, and it hurts when I think about what I need to do. He doesn't deserve to have this happen to him, he doesn't deserve this. But I can't change it, I have to go.

I try to push my thoughts away as I open the door, and Jeongin greets me with that smile that could melt even the coldest of hearts. And it just makes this more bittersweet than it already is.

"Hi, Channie-Hyung." He says, wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug. I wrap my arms around him, and it only makes me feel worse. So, so, so much worse.

"Hey, Jeongin." I pull away and smile at him, ruffling his hair up a little, even despite his whine of protest.

"I just got it to lie flat!" He hisses, smoothing it back down, though, his frown doesn't stay for long. Instead, he smiles widely, puts his hands on my cheeks and leans in.

My cheeks feel warm as he looks at me with that look in his eyes, the same look Changbin often gives Felix before they dissappear into Felix's room, and it's actually quite terrifying when I think about Jeongin giving me this look.

He leans in closer, his face maybe a few centimeters away from mine.

And then he smirks, and pulls away with a chuckle.

"Aww, that's called payback. But really, Chan, you look cute when you blush." He says with a grin, laughing a little until I pull him inside, close the door and steal a quick kiss.

"Yeah, yeah, now c'mon, dinner is almost ready." I say, ushering him towards the dining room table before going to check on the bolgogi, that smells like heaven on earth.

Dinner is quickly plated, eaten, and put away before we settle down on the couch, watching studio Ghibli films for the next few hours until my concentration is pulled away from the movies and to the fact that I can't just keep this from Jeongin. He needs to know, and I don't want to hurt him.

I pause the movie, much to his protest, and sit up straight. The room is dark, the only light being emitted from the tv screen, casting a soft blue glow around the room.

"Chan, is everything alright?" Jeongin asks, most of his face covered in shadows, and it almost makes it easier to tell him. To not have to look him in the eyes when I say it.

"I've been putting this off long enough, and so, there's something we need to talk about."

Jeongin gives a little bit of a worried nod before sitting up completely, turning to face me completely while tucking his knees to his chest. "What about?" He asks, his voice almost a little shakey.

"I'm leaving for a bit. My mom is really sick, and we aren't sure if she's going to make it... please understand." He stares at me for a minute, and I can tell he's hurt. He visibly relaxes, his shoulders falling back into their normal place.

"Okay." He gives a small smile, and messes with my hair a little bit. "Just remember to write me every once in a while so I know you're not dead." Then he grins, and I feel like a weight has lifted off my shoulders.

"Thank you, for understanding." I wrap him up in a big hug, holding him as tight as I can without suffocating him. He laughs a little, his breath tickling my neck.

"I'd probably let you chop off my hand if you gave me a good enough reason, besides your mom needs you more than I do right now. You'd be a worse person if you _didn'_ t go to see her."

His tone is light, but it doesn't change the fact that my heart feels heavy.


	18. 十八: It's The Small Things

Chan has officially been gone for two weeks, and still doesn't know a time estimate for coming back. He calls and facetimes, writes letters when he thinks I need something to hold onto (which is more often than I'll admit) and always makes sure to tell me that he loves me.

On the brightside, Junjin and Chae have been getting along well. He's always taking her on dates to art exhibits and galleries across seoul, happily spending every minute he can with her. And of course mom likes him, like, adores the man. But I think she sees him as a little brother type, which is hilarious given the circumstances.

Speaking of mom, she's finally dating again, which is good for her. So, usually she goes out on Fridays or Saturdays, which are the same days that Junjin and Chae _alway_ s go on dates, which leaves me at home alone more often than not. Which, regrettably, has resulted in more than one incident involving trot music, mass effect binge gaming, ice cream, and sometimes crying.

But, Changbin is pretty good at keeping me company since Felix left with Chan. Given, he's horrible with emotions, and that's usually why ice cream and crying is involved. He won't admit it, but he's really sᴏғᴛ™ for Felix, and it shows. Especially since Felix broke his phone and can really only use email. Which he absolutely hates using.

And of course, Seungmin, Hyunjin, Minho, and Jisung are all fine in their relationships, and it'd probably take someone killing somebody to break them up, but that'd besides the point.

I suppose it just bothers me because it's Christmas today, everyone else has someone to spend it with, and the only thing I've gotten is two mistletoe-forced kisses from Jisung. That was interesting to say the least. Especially since Minho. Was. Right. _There_.

"I swear to God, If you're wallowing in self-pity again." Changbin says as he barges into my room, landing next to me on the bed with a thud. There's a small crinkling sound and then a low hum from Changbin. "Guess you'll miss out on all the Australian candies then..."

I sit up only to see a horribly wrapped box with Felix's hand writing scribbled on the top. "Well, at least your boyfriend loves you." I mummble, accepting a chocolate looking candy from him.

Changbin laughs, producing a second, smaller, package from his hoodie pocket. "I'm telling Chan you said that." He hands me the package while picking through his box of candies.

I smile at the wrapping, its neater than Felix's, but is still a little awkward at the corners. Inside is a stack of postcards, some candies that won't get stuck in my braces, and a ridiculous stuffed koala that has Chan's cologne sprayed on it. A comforting touch in his absence.

' ** _Wish you were here <3_** _'_  
 ** _-Cha_** n

I smile at the postcards, setting them down on the nightstand before curling up with the koala stuffie. Changbin chuckles, laying down before turning on music from his phone. It's some Felix had showed him a while back, and Changbin had loved it ever since. Florida, by Funeral Suits.

I don't know what the lyrics are talking about, but I like it anyway. It sounds upbeat, but is still calming to lounge around with. At least for now.

I can't wait for Chan to be home.

"You know," Changbin says, shifting so he's more comfortable. "I thought about asking Felix to marry me once he gets back. Go back to Australia, tie the knot, come back and finish college or something. I mean, I thought about asking before he left, but..."

"Why didn't you?" I ask, intrigued by the whole idea. The thought of them married is too adorable to pass up.

Changbin smiles, a small laugh escaping his lips. "I wanted to wait until our dating anniversary, five happy years together, but then he had to go. And we instead spent our fifth on facetime. Romantic, right?" He's still got that smile as he sighs. "Minho says I'm crazy, because he's still only eighteen, but I just want to make it more offical, ya' know?"

He continues on his spill about how he wants to marry Felix, but it's never the right time to ask, and I can't help but wonder if it'll ever be like this for Chan and I, or if we'll even last that long. I don't doubt that I love him, or that he loves me, but sometimes I wonder if this relationship is as serious as I think it is.

Because, this is my first relationship, and I want it to be the last. To be happy with what I have.

But sometimes I wonder.

I wonder about a lot of things nowadays.


	19. 十九: All The Love Lost...

"It's been nearly six months, Changbin, how am I _no_ t supposed to have doubts?" I ask as the waitress brings us our food. Chan had left back in December and it was already nearing the end of June, and there still wasn't a set date. Worst of all, he hadn't been alking to me as of late, fewer calls, hardly any letters.

"I'm sure he's just busy is all." Changbin says as he adds salt and pepper to his food. And while yes, there's the possibility that he's just busy, it just doesn't add up in my head. Felix and Chan were constantly together everytime we'd talked before, and now, Felix would be talking to Changbin, and Chan is hardly ever there anymore.

It's not my fault if my mind wanders every now and again, with Chan becoming more distant, with us so far apart and how touchy he can be, I wouldn't blame him if he...

"Jeongin, I know that look." Changbin sets his fork down, his tone stern but understanding. "Chan would never cheat on you, and even if he did, Felix would beat his ass. So just relax a little, yeah?"

I nod, turning my attention to the naengmyeon in front of me. Changbin smiles softly as he reaches over and pokes my cheek.

"Cheer up, please. There's only room for one emo, and that's me."

I smile a little and nod, finally eating the naengmyeon.

"We can go for ice cream after this." Changbin suggests with a smile.

"What about shaved ice instead?" Ice cream just makes me think about my first date with Chan, and I'm honestly thinking it'd be better to just forget about him at this rate.

"Shaved ice it is." Changbin says with a grin, probably proud of he fact that I wasn't taking the first chance I got to go running back home to the sanctity of my room, and wallow in self pity and video games. _I'd-_ _we'd_ been doing that too often as of late, and I'm pretty sure we both gained a little weight.

We finished our meals shortly afterward, Changbin immediately taking us to the nearest shaved ice place. It was three blocks away from the restaurant, and we'd had to walk the entire way, as it wasn't accessible via road, due to some parade or something.

"So, how's the black cherry taste?" I ask Changbin as we sit on a bench close to the ice shop.

"Like failure, resentment, and a little bit of disappointment too." We make eye contact and he breaks out into a laugh. "Sorry, um, it taste pretty good. What about the blue coconut."

"I'd say it taste like tropical depression." I answer with a smile, scooping out another spoonful as Changbin shakes his head.

We talk more and more, and then Changbin asks why I've been so bothered. And I could honestly rant for a good three hours about all the things that bother me. Because believe me when I say there's a pretty long lost of things. But there's one thing in particular that really just upsets me.

"He didn't remember my birthday."

"What?"

"He forgot my birthday."

There's a moment of silence, and then it all seems to hit like a thousand ton truck. It crushes me, again, and again, and again. It's like being crushed by the heaviness of your own heart.

That's when the tears start, when everything finally comes crashing down around me. It was one thing to be ignored on any other day, and for weeks at a time too, but he hadn't remembered my birthday. He hadn't sent a cheesy birthday card, hadn't said happy birthday in any of his later letters, and had certainly never said it when we were talking on the phone.

"I mean, out of sight, out of mind. Right?" My voice cracks and it betrays everything I've tried so hard to repress. I've always been insecure, it's something I've never really tried to hide, and that's okay, I can live with it. But I can't live like this, with Chan practically in original me, and not knowing if he's even coming back.

The salt of my tears sting my cheeks and I have to wipe them away to keep from feeling like I'm the wicked witch of he west, and I'm melting all just because of Chan or somehing as stupid as my imagination. It isn't fair to have to live like this, like you're not important to someone you thought you meant so much to. It's worse than loneliness, because at least with loneliness, you don't ever hope and pray to be held again, to have that filled, because it's always been empty.

"Oh, Jeong." Changbin says as he pulls me in for a hug, swaying back and forth slightly as I continue to cry, soaking he shoulder of his hoodie with my tears. I wish this was Chan instead of Changbin, I just to be back in his arms, to hear his voice, to do _anything_ at this point.

"Lets go home, yeah?"

The car ride is silent save for the radio which is playing some american song from probably the late 60s. It's catchy too, but I don't know the words, but Changbin hums along as he drives, tapping his fingers against the sterling wheel in time with the song.

Changbin parks the car, and turns to smile at me. "Remember this much, all relationships aren't going to be perfect. You're going to have your ups and downs, and you need to be strong during those times. Okay?"

"Yeah, I got it, hyung." I say, unbuckling as he chuckles.

"Good. Bye, Jeongin. Be good." He ruffles my hair before I get out of the car, waving as he drives away. I turn and go up the stairs, as the elevators broke again, and I honestly don't know why they don't just gt new ones instead of trying to repair these when all they do is breakdown anymore. Not that isn't relatable on an emotional level, but still.

"Welcome back to hell." Chae says as he passes by with a jug of orange juice tucked under one arm, and a bag of doritos under the other. How she isn't fatter, I'll never know.

"Oh, good, you're home." Mom says, looking up from her desk, a smile on her lips. "I left something for you in your room." She smiles again before returning to her work, typing away furiously at what I can only assume is another corporate case as she hasn't been sleeping as much as of late.

"Thanks." I say, kicking off my shoes by the door before heading to my room. I swing open the door only to be met with the one person who makes me want to both cry happy and angry tears.

"CHANNIE HYUNG!"

"Hi, Jeongin!"

_The End._


End file.
